Failure is an event Feed

don't worry

 

Don’t worry about tomorrow, because it will come and go, like yesterday, and the day before.

Don’t worry about yesterday, because it’s gone. It has come. It served its purpose. It is done.

So, worry about today.

Right here. Right now.

Today.

Take today and live meaningfully. Live deeply, because it’s a moment full of infinite possibilities. It’s a day like no other, brimming with promises and whispers of glorious things. Things you just can’t get at tomorrow. Things you can only and must get at today.

You have a bit of time. So, take advantage of it.

Time is at your service.

Time is your secret weapon because it will not be here tomorrow. For tomorrow, you will reap what you sow, and gather what you plant today.

That’s a lot of flowery words, you might say.

Perhaps, but what do you expect with all this planting and reaping that you’re doing?

I just don’t know a better way to illustrate the importance of getting at something today. And I don’t mean just getting at it but working it with purpose. Dreaming with tenacity. Planning and executing with tremendous determination and focus.

You say you want things, but yet you are unwilling to fight for them.

You say you’re tired, but you’re wasting what needs to be done today. To do something, anything, so that you are but a dash and a pinch of purpose ahead of where you were yesterday. Which might leave you less tired. More invigorated.

You’re afraid to fail but who isn’t?

You’re afraid to make mistakes because deep down you’re worried what people, the same people who have long ago given up their own dreams, might think or say.

Don’t worry about those people. They don’t worry about you and they won’t be there tomorrow. They imprison themselves in their many regrets of yesterday.

You say you need a bit more time, but time is all you have. At least today. At least for a little while longer.

You say you’re not good enough, but you’ve wrongly assumed we have someone else. You’ve wrongly wished we would find someone else to replace you.

There is no replacement.

You’ve all we’ve got.

And we’re glad.

You’re irreplaceable. Unrepeatable and unique.

Stubborn at times? Yes.

Crotchety for a period of time? Absolutely.

With a dirty mouth to boot, when there’s no call for it? Perhaps. On occasion. Yes.

You are who you are.

That is no great matter for concern. We’re ok with it because only you can do what only you can do.

Warts and all. Imperfect as you are.

You make us laugh. You make us cry. You make us think and dance.

You contribute a great deal of meaning to our life and it stings when you brood and worry about tomorrow.

It will hurt when if hide yourself today or on any other day.

So, don’t hide from us. Don’t retreat. Abandon. Forget. Imagine things that are simply not true.

Don’t worry about tomorrow.

Quickly forget the mistakes and failures of yesterday.

Embrace today.

Only worry about today.

Worry about this moment.

Go and do something only you can do.

Until we meet again, my friend.

Have yourself the very best day.

 


levity, bears and white rabbits

A grizzly bear and a white rabbit, squatted next to each other, having a poop. The bear didn’t know the rabbit very well, and so the kind bear engaged the rabbit in some small talk.

“Hey Rabbit, do you have any problems with poo sticking to your fur?”, he asked.

“No”, said the Rabbit.

So, the bear picked up the rabbit, and wiped his bum with him.

And so, it is in life. Sometimes you’re the polite grizzly bear, and sometimes you’re the unsuspecting white rabbit.

Sometimes you’re neither.

Be a humorist. Have a sense of levity, and embrace the role of a jokester.

I think a sense of humour is very important.

It is essential. Imperative. An unappreciated remedy for mental health.

Levity is a sign of joy. A temporary glimpse into a meaningful, purpose driven life.

You have to learn to laugh. You have to rediscover the puerile side of your human nature. Give yourself permission to be silly by filling your day with laughter. Don’t be afraid to laugh at silly or inappropriate jokes, to snigger at life, smile at the absurdity of things, and giggle at your own damn self.

Life offers us plenty of opportunities for laughter.

Every day, it is given that we will either be the bear or the poor white bunny. We are dealt a stupendous hand, or forced to fold, before we even begin.

The flow and movement of the grains of sand of time never changes. Life can’t be stopped or tread upon.

But our attitude towards the things we can and cannot change is wide open. Open for business, for much levity and silly double entendre.

Laugh at yourself.

I said laugh, not put yourself down. And don’t do it in front of people either. Especially people you don’t know that well. If you do, that is probably a sign of some pretty deep psychological daddy or mommy issues. But I’m no psychiatrist. I’m just a writer offering you some of my morning musings.

Laugh at yourself.

Be comfortable in your own skin. Be at ease looking in the mirror.

Understand that failure is not permanent and that mistakes don’t define who you are. Mistakes are events and all the events, inevitably come to an end. Your failures become part of your misremembered past, but your future is wide open. Your future and your desire to become someone you deeply desire to be, is still gloriously unwritten. It is yours for the taking. You are neither the bear nor the rabbit.

You’re not the poo either.

Your past mistakes are not an sign of where you’re going, or an indication of the things you cannot do.

Mistakes are mistakes and you are you.

Don’t believe you are something that you’re not. There is no reason to carry so burdens and regrets. You were never supposed to carry them in the first place.

Laugh a little.

Laugh a lot if you dare.

Laughter is a sign of peace. Of wisdom. A glimpse at a balanced soul. An indication that you’ve learned a few little things along the way. An indication that you love yourself (maybe a little).

So, take it easy.

Amuse yourself and contemplate the constipated composer.

Why?

Because he had problems with his last movement.

Or if you double dare, spend the rest of the morning wondering if a clown’s fart smells funny.

If you triple dare, leave a funny comment, so we can all share in the laughter.

 


fail better

 

Toastmaster Speech

Title: Fail Better

Delivered on Wednesday, January 19th, 2018 (in Oshawa, Ontario)

 

“Ever Tried. Ever Failed. No Matter. Try Again. Fail Again. Fail Better”.

Samuel Beckett

 

Failure is such a natural act of being human, but you wouldn’t know it, based on how we run and hide from our mistakes.

Everything we do involves failure.

Everything we have ever done, that ever mattered, involved making a mistake.

I think as the new year begins, we need to get over ourselves a little, and learn to embrace our failures.

We need to fail better.

What do you think?

We were born helpless. Truly helpless.

It took a well-educated, extremely qualified doctor, to slaps us on our ass, because otherwise, we would not have had the wherewithal to take our very first breath.

As babies, whatever anyone put in front of us, we stuck in our mouth.

Big. Small. Sour. Sweet. Cold or warm. No matter. If we could reach it, we had a taste of it. Without fear. Without judgement. Without hesitation.

It went in our mouth.

We had so much to learn, so much fun, and failure was an acceptable risk.

No big deal. Like breathing.

Failure was fantastically fascinating.

We had no bladder control, and while our diapers helped a bit, someone had to be kind enough to wipe our posterior, every time we made a stinky.

Someone had to feed us. Burp us. Change us. Comfort us. Dress us. Move us. And put us to sleep.

We failed a lot.

We failed often.

We failed better.

It’s all we knew how to do. Mistakes were part of a whole, not the reason to give up, or never attempt something in the first place.

 

But what happened?

How did we forget how unquestionably happy we were, and in the midst of all that failure?

Sadly, we got educated.

We took in instruction to the contrary.

Our formal education happened.

We began to take guidance from our failures in the schoolyard, and we observed the consequences when others made mistakes.

It is there that we began to accept how wretched it is to fail.

How weak we are. How much we don’t know. How much we need. How much we have to change, in order to just fit in for a brief moment. So, we can pretend to be happy, and that everything will be fine.

But we were already happy.

We didn’t need to know what we know now.

So, what happened?

Schools were artificially inseminated in the industrial age.

They continue to be nothing more than an extension of the factory.

Schools were designed to create competent factory workers. I know a bit about this because I work in a modern one. A school system that has become a bit more modern and spacious these days, but at the core, still remains a sewer system for factory work.

Teachers college was called the ‘Normal School’.

Normal.

Normal, as in right. As in what was needed at the time. What was desirable. What could be rewarded with a minimum wage.

Failure was abnormal. Making mistakes was wrong. Undesirable and punishable.

Is it any wonder we lost our happiness? Is it any wonder we have forgotten our childhood ability to fail?

To fail better?

But we can get it back.

We need to fail better.

A 30 second commercial during the SuperBowl in 2017 would have cost you $4.5 million dollars.

That’s $150,000 per second.

Money Magazine investigated the power and tangible reach of SuperBowl ads and they concluded that 90% of all the viewers had no intent of ever buying anything they saw in one of those commercials.

Nothing.

What a colossal failure and a waste of money.

But consider for a moment if your Doritos commercial did make an impact with only the mistaken, insignificant 10% of the viewers.

Let’s do the math.

About 115 million people watched the 2017 SuperBowl and so ten percent of that, would equal about 11.5 million people.

Now let’s assume that our Doritos commercial did the very least. Each person only bought one bag of our delicious Doritos, during the whole year, and they totally forgot we ever existed.

11.5 million people, buying a bag of potato chips, at $3 a bag, would give us a gross income of $34 million dollars. Once we figure out our practical costs, that’s still a lot of zeros.

Failure can have a huge payoff it seems.

The highest paid position player in Baseball earns between $20 and $30 million dollars a season and manage to have a batting average of above .300.

The minimum salary for a baseball player is $507,500.

On average the lowest paid position players have a batting average of .250.

As a way of comparison. If you went up to bat 1000 times and hit the ball 300 times, you would be signing many autographs and living the life. If you hit the ball 250 times, you may be looking for another job.

50 balls in play. 162 games in a season. That’s only one extra hit, every three games.

And each hit is worth $600,000.

You can double your salary, if you only hit one extra ball, one extra time.

So, let’s not hide from making mistakes, let’s learn to fail better.

We have to relearn how to fail. Get comfortable making mistakes. We need to embrace the quest to try and try again. Fail and fail again.

We have to become children again.

We have to learn how to fail better.

Fail better.

I’m too old. I’m too busy. I’ve tried that once. I’ve tried it a thousand times.

I’m not really athletic. I’m not artistic. I hate math. I’m a horrible speller. I can’t remember. I don’t like speaking in front of people.

Maybe when my kids are grown. When I retire. When I find some time. Maybe, after a bit more practice. Maybe someday. Maybe one day. When it feels right.

But what if they laugh at me?

And what if they do? Your attitude towards failure, is the biggest mistake of our life.

It’s not your actual failure that holds you back.

It’s your fear of failure.

So, let’s follow the advice of the wise, Irish playwright.

Ever tried.

Ever failed.

Try again.

Fail again.

Fail better.

 


I'm only human

 

I’m only human.

What a defeatist cop-out. What a vicious and villainous way to make excuses. By blaming your misgivings and frustrations on the very thing that makes life beautiful.

Our humanity.

Look. I get it.

I get the frustration.

I get the disappointments. Failures. Mistakes. Accusations. The self-loathing. The self-questioning. The gut wrenching flashes that question whether its ever worth starting all over again.

But to say I’m only human, is to admit defeat by no longer wrestling with your humanity.

Just like Jacob who wrestled the Angel, we are meant to wrestle with our humanity. To push and pull at our stubborn nature and create something that has never been seen, felt, or heard.

That is our mandate and our mission.

To be human. Fully human, fully alive.

You are not the sum total of your mistakes.

Your human dignity and creativity gives you the opportunity to climb out of your ashes, as many times as you are willing to rise.

You are human.

Take great consolation in the fact that your humanity stands on the shoulders of some pretty cool giants.

You don’t have to know anything about nuclear fusion or the electrical currents, in order to create light. You just have to be willing to flick the switch.

You don’t have to pick cotton, or personally manufacture polyester. You don’t have to know how the zipper works. You don’t have to create new stitching techniques. You don’t have to make any dye that colours your thread. You don’t have to forge your own needle. You don’t have to make your own pencils, or grind a tree to a pulp, to create paper. You just have to be yourself, be human, and imagine a piece of fabric that will stun the eye with its beauty.

You don’t have to be exceptional or even gifted to make a difference. You just have to identify a need, fill it, and show the rest of us that there is another way to do something.

Forget the world.

Forget trying to please everyone and don’t live your life by their applause.

Why don’t you try it for us?

Why don’t you try being human for us?

Just us. Forget them.

You’re not only human. You are human.

Warts and all.

Colossal fuckups and everything.

How about we grow a little this year, and stop making excuses for ourselves, as to why we can’t be or can’t do, what we want to be and do.

The list of excuses and scientific evidence you have marshalled against yourself is simply enormous. You’re only human, and only a fool wrestles with Angels.

But there is a crack in your supposed scientific method.

You never put yourself or your knowledge to the test.

You give up before you start. You talk yourself out of it, before you even begin.

Or you quit before you get to the end.

You let the gaze and noise of those who don’t know you dictate how you’re going to conduct your business.

You lie to yourself that you’re only human.

So, have the courage to be human.

Don’t be afraid to fail.

Hold tight to your dreams and follow them.

Follow them through thick untrodden paths. Follow them through thickets full of poison ivy, if necessary. Run after them. Chase them. Run through the night. Fall and stumble through the day.

Don’t stop until you catch them.

Above all else.

Be human.

Be great.

Be you.

 


now what?

 

You’re all dressed up with no-where to go.

So, now what?

You did everything right.

You worked hard. You showed them what you can do. You demonstrated your confidence and vision. You prepared the way you were supposed to. You even received timely reassurance from all the people in the know, that you’ve got this.

You dreamed about it. You kept your mouth shut about it. You patiently waited and waited.

Then you heard.

You’re not it.

You’ve been passed over.

You’re all dressed up with no-where to go.

So, now what?

Everything.

Stand still. Don’t second guess yourself. Don’t doubt. Don’t buckle. Don’t despair. 

Realize, once and for all, that someone else’s decision doesn’t change who you are, or where you want to be. All it means is that you are not for them.

For better or for worse. Time will tell. But you are not for them.

They rejected what they believed you to be, but they don’t really know you. They couldn’t possibly understand who you really are. They cannot really see what your presence and energy would have brought into their life.

They will never know.

As much as it stings right now. As much as you’re disappointed. Take heart in the fact that this won’t last long.

They didn’t want to dance with you. True. But that’s because they didn’t know you. But if you are honest with yourself, you don’t really know them either. Just because they were there, seemingly available and you wanted a dance partner, doesn’t mean that you were right about them either.

You might have an unrealistic vision of them, just as they had a distorted vision of you.  

So, I think you should go out and celebrate.

You’re all dressed up anyhow.

Not in a bitter, supersensitive, antisocial, passive-aggressive kind of way.

Go and celebrate the beginning of a new direction.

Remember that you are playing in an infinite universe, playing an infinite game, with an abundance of resources and possibilities.

This is not the end, it’s simply a pivot. A change of wind. A new weather pattern.

This is the moment that is trying to show you who you’re becoming and how much you’ve changed.

Life is not a test. It is not a series of right and wrong turns. Or a set of misguided or misdirected decisions.

The object of living isn’t to reach a particular end, with this or that under your arm, or with this or that crowning achievement. Living isn’t about being where you’re not wanted.

Life is not a test, and it’s not an intense game either.

Life is an infinite contest.

A game we play, so we can play again.

Take heart in who you are. Take heart in where you have been, who you’ve become, and who where you’re going.

Nothing has changed.

Just the direction.

So, take heart and continue to look forward.

Don’t look back.

Go out and find a new dance partner.

 


dumbbell curls

 

Bodybuilders call them reps.

Repetitions.

They feel and grip a heavy dumbbell, curl it up and down, and repeat. They do this over and over and over again. Set after set. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year.

A lifetime of repetitions. A lifetime of teardowns, and rebuilds.

They embrace every rep even when it’s cold outside or when the outside air is blistering with unbearable heat. They squeeze a little harder and keep going just a little bit further, even when they’re tired. Especially when they’re tired. When they are tempted to quit. When they no longer believe or have any clarity of purpose. When they’ve been hurt by criticism or self-doubt. When they’ve had enough.

They keep going.

They keep repeating.

Set after set. Set after set.

You should keep going too!

Most champions aren’t born as winners. They train themselves to be champions by pushing deeper and further than the person who gives up, only a few strides before they make it.

Champions are made. They are not born.

They don’t save any energy for the swim back.

They are willing to die in the middle of a cold lake, racing towards the uncharted middle, with all their strength, beyond the pain, ignoring and expanding the energy they had reserved for the long swim back.

Reps prepare them for that.

Of course, life is a little less melodramatic than that. Our repetitions are a bit less exaggerated.

We are usually quite capable of swimming back to the shore, but what is hidden here, is the tenacity needed to win the race, at a heavy cost.

Why?

Because there is no coming back.

There is no do over. There is no dress rehearsal. This is our life.

And what are you willing to do?

Can you keep working, even when everyone else has gone? Not so your company can make more fat stacks of money, or that you feel like you’re, oh so close, to a promotion, but because it matters; because you are determined to make a difference. To live a life, you’ve always wanted.

How are you with your reps?

Can you write, sing, or dance, every day? Finish your book or the Sistine Chapel? Stick to your diet? Clean your house? Prepare your taxes? Quit smoking?

Get over yourself?

Curl some dumbbells?

Do what you said you would do.

This is all going to take some reps. A lot of reps.

Reps that will become monotonous and too predictable after a while. Reps that can be easily replaced or effortlessly ignored with far more important things. Especially when it aches so much, right here. Or you find a bit of a sniffle, right there.

You’re not a quitter. Your flaws and mistakes aren’t fatal. Nothing is fatal, until it is final.

Until then, it’s just you.

Surrounded by heavy, cold, and unfeeling dumbbells. Ready to be lifted, pulled, and curled.

Begging for your tenacity to be repeated.

 


entanglement with Latin

 

I don’t really want to write about yesterday, but now that I have some food in my belly and the coffee is aromatically tickling my senses, I am open to the possibility.

I’m not sure if this will have any value, but I have learned that I cannot be trusted to see the value of what I write or what purpose it will serve. What I see and what you see, seem universes onto themselves. I have learned to let things be.

My task is not to waver, to let go, and come back to write tomorrow.

4:02 am.

The time I choose to wake up every morning.

As much as that time scares some people, today, I eagerly anticipated its arrival.

Yesterday was a shitty day.

I usually don’t express myself in Latin, but I’ve searched and searched for better way to express myself and came up blank.

I’m not sure what happened yesterday.

I just gave up.

Overcome with terrible pangs of loneliness. Preoccupied with the unrelenting onslaught of wave after wave of anger, I ran away from my family, and hid in plain sight, on the couch, by the kitchen table, and on the sofa.

I shut down.

I haven’t shut down like this in a very long time. My body was well but my state of mind was sick.

I called myself many names. Troll being the nicest, if I am to avoid more entanglement with some Latin verses.

I am a forty-five-year-old man and yet, I still berate myself.

I refuse to make eye contact. I interpret everything with a bitter tinge. I tell myself that I am worthless. That what I write is stupid. That I am a failure as a father. A failure as a husband, and a fraud of a human being.

And then later, when the storm subsides, I ask myself if I am finished?

I’m not really sure where the new confidence or outlook on life is coming from. Perhaps it’s the weight training in the morning. Perhaps it’s the commitment to write every day.

It might be the hour or two of motivational talks I hear every morning. Perhaps it’s the good books I am reading. The gossip I have avoided. The television I don’t watch. The social media I ignore. Or the people I have surrounded myself with.

I’m not really sure what’s working, but I am mightily vigilant and cautious, of even letting one of them go.

I don’t want to be who I was.

That man is dead.

I even threw out his double XL clothing.

It wasn’t always like this.

My melancholy was long. Drawn out. Filled with long, melodramatic episodes of quitting and stomping my feet like a little insolent child.

Sometimes, you just have to go to bed.

You have to wave goodbye to a shitty temporary existence and wake up with a new soul, a new mind, and decide to steer in a new direction.

This all sounds a lot easier on paper, I know.

It seems false and contrived as I type it, but if you know me, you know I have no reason to lie.

Whatever your struggle. Whatever your disappointments. Whatever your failures may be.

Despite their length or intensity.  

No matter the regret or guilt, you might surround yourself with, and wear as a blanket of comfort.

No matter what.

Failure comes to an end.

It always comes to an end.

Don’t hang on. Let whatever imprisons you, large or small, die.

Bury it.

Pound the dirt with your shovel.

Yell, scene.

And begin anew.

 


perfect imperfections

 

We have never managed to conclusively nail down the circumference of a circle.

Our best scientific minds and our fastest computers, after centuries of effort, are still unable to come up with a definitive number that identifies pi, much beyond the very danceable 3.14.

We have been stuck with our human flaws for millennia, yet, collectively, we continually find courage to draw the imperfect circle anyway. We play with them. We paint them. We obsess over them. We admire them.

Yet we have never once embraced a perfect circle.

We can’t come up with the criteria to even identify one, but think of where we would be I’m as a civilization, if we allowed perfection to stop us and run our lives.

Part of the human condition is the wisdom to perfectly accept our imperfections!

If you look at several clear examples of success, or at the people you greatly admire, you will undoubtedly see perpetual failure, and undeniable flaws.

Every broken bone mends, but not quite the same. Every cut heals, but always leaves a scar. Every slice of cheesecake offers a delectable possibility of divine bilocation, but enhances the circumference and girth of your ass.

Our relationships don’t last forever. Our happiness comes and goes.

Nothing is perfect.

Nothing.

Everything that exists in the universe gives us any indication that we need to be perfect.

Yet.

That is precisely what we strive for.

We buy into acquired illusionary ideals. We embrace visions and far-fetched expectations, that breed their origins with the perfect circle.

We obsess about being perfect. We don’t allow ourselves to accept any level of happiness, unless we are great. We consider it a failure, when we deem ourselves good enough.

We constantly measure ourselves into sickness. We measure ourselves into hell.

We obsess about perfectly doing, when we should accept our imperfection of being.

Successful people aren’t lucky. They only appear to be at first glance.

They are not perfect. I would beg to guess that they have an infinite number of flaws and a myriad of imperfections. Things that they hide, because quite frankly, it’s nobody’s business.

Success is achieved through perfect imperfection!

The sooner we allow ourselves the courage to take a million chances, the sooner we will experience success.

Success and failure, professional and personal, comes from the same well. It fills the same bucket. The only one we have. The one we were born with.

Happiness and success are achieved through a hundred attempts to fly. Thousands of attempts to quit. Millions of attempts to forgive, to move on, to say sorry, or to begin once again.

Success and happiness come to those who persevere. To those who embrace vulnerability and their magnificent flaws.

Don’t ever be afraid to be wrong. To look foolish. To take a stand. To dig ditches. To quit and begin again. To face yourself in the mirror. To freak out. To imperfectly stride forward, until your last breath.

Become perfectly imperfect.

Be you. Be glorious.

Believe.

 


threatened to pieces by change

 

People are often threatened by change.

The core of their being is fortified and stunted by just the idea of something new. Just watch them. Observe their eyes and their defensive posture.  Listen to what they say. Hear what they don’t say. Absorb and listen to their trembling excuses of fear.

It is always scary to look ahead, to go where you have never been. It is hard to move forward, to grow, to adapt, or transform yourself, especially when the comfort and experience of who you are, is right there, calling you back.

You don’t like who you are. Deep down, if you’re honest, you dream of being and living a more purposeful existence.  You hope for a new direction. You long for some kind of intervention, a sign in the sky, or perhaps a little push, from someone, anyone, in the right direction.  

The right direction.

But there is no right direction.

There is no such thing as the right thing to do, or right place to go, because change cannot be truly measured. It must be lived.

Success is something we are, not something we do. It cannot be measured, because our means of measurement changes with the passing of time.

Sure, you can count your money, your followers, or the square footage of your vacation property. You can count a lot of things, but that doesn’t mean anything. Through it all, you are the only constant. You are the only thing that matters. You are a person who needs to change, if you are to get to where you dream of being.

What do you dream of? Who are you? What is holding your back?

When you were young, you wanted mountains and mountains of candy. As you got older, you wanted a car, or perhaps a beautiful partner that could silence a room with his or her entrance. As you grew older still, you began to measure success by your health, the time you had to do what you wanted, and the people that gather by your side. Tomorrow, you will be different still.

Tomorrow, you won’t want the same things you wanted yesterday.  You won’t settle for yesterday, because tomorrow brings with it a new set of glorious possibilities.  Tomorrow, your very life will whisper some new possibilities of change.

The more wisdom you learn to embrace, the more you realize that life is about being, and not about doing. There is certainly a myriad of people that appear to better and more successful than you. They have more than you. They were there first. They know something. They managed to carve out their piece of the playground first.

But.

It’s not about them. It’s about you.

You are resisting your own magnificent conversion. You just won’t change. You run and hide. Choosing to be afraid of making a ruckus; of making a real difference. Whatever that difference is, you don’t have the courage to stare down your own greatness. You need to stop running away from becoming and being, who you were always meant to be.

You need to stop being threatened by change.

You refuse to let go. You refuse to embrace the temporary state of failure. You’ve been taught that failure somehow exposes who for who you are, when in fact, it is only a fleeting moment, in an unmeasurable ocean of time.

You seem somewhat arrogant.  Arrogant, to think you can learn to hammer a nail with only one, single, momentary, brilliant stroke of execution.

Let go.

Learn to hammer a lot of crooked nails.

Learn to leap.

Learn to fail and expect to fail often.

Learn to walk and dance with fear. To live and salsa with uncertainty.

Embrace change.

In the end, life is nothing but change.

 


no one will remember

 

One day it will all be a distant memory.

And it doesn’t matter what you do. 

It doesn’t matter if it what you experience today or lived out yesterday was good or bad.  Happy or sad.  Memorable or somewhat forgettable.

It doesn’t matter what you do.  It doesn’t matter, because everything, no matter how insignificant, how grand, embarrassing or otherwise, will one day be forgotten. 

Our mistakes and bruises, as well as our many disappointments and transgressions, will soon be forgotten and overshadowed by the art of living. 

You see, we were born with an expiration date.

We are no different than a carton of milk at the supermarket.

One of the great benefits of growing older, is not having enough time to keep track of every mistake or transgression that caused us to stumble. 

We were not granted the time to look back, or concern ourselves with what was, or what could have been.  It is not important.  We are people faith and hope.  Individuals living our lives forward and the future doesn’t depend on our past.

Even if you try.  Even if you persist and stomp your feet.  In time, everything fades, blurs, and becomes a distant passing memory.  The intensity of the moment fades.  We forget why, how, or how often.

So, it really doesn’t matter if what you experienced up to now has been virtuous or corruptible, joyful or melancholy, unforgettable or unremarkable.  It doesn’t matter.  What matters, however, is who you were and who you want to be.

You.

Not who you were but who you are.  Who you want to be.

I am not diminishing your real pain and the agony you might have suffered.  Far from it.  What you have endured and overcome is very courageous.  I am simply musing about the past, and how to leverage that experience and redeem the future.

It is really important to redeem our future.  It is important to hope.  To strive forward.

We simply cannot let the bastards grind us down. 

You have no right to hunt yourself down either.

All our actions and thoughts, ultimately end up in a rusty, unassuming, storage container, buried deep inside our unconscious mind.  Yet as we grow and dance with wisdom, our very character, the person who we are, who we have become and want to be, is ever more amplified and manifest itself ever more emphatically.

This is why, it is invaluable that we remember who we are, not what we have done, or what was done to us.   

We were born to be.  To be great.

For that reason, we must focus on our character, and developing that character, and not get hung up on our mistakes. 

Let the dead bury the dead.  Let the past remain the past.

No one will remember. 

No one will care.

Your memories will be a bit hazy too.

When you look in the mirror who do you see?  Do you see someone that makes you proud or do you avert your own gaze?  Someone memorable or forgettable?  Someone joyful or sad?

Don’t be so rough on yourself.

Remember that mistakes are events.  They happened. 

You are in the in the present.

The decision you make today, is not predetermined by what you did yesterday.

You are free to be.

Mistakes belong to the business of doing. 

Your life belongs to the art of living.

You won’t remember anyway, so take solace in your hope, by doing something today, that will make you into someone, you won’t hesitate to share tomorrow.

Forget your mistakes.  Don’t cover yourself with ugliness.  Don’t carry your regret and guilt alone.

Allow yourself to forget.

No one will remember.

Focus instead on who you are.

Who you dream to be.