weekend quotable no. 38
don't lose heart

green grass and gas

 

Sometimes the grass looks a bit lusher and has a somewhat stronger hint of green, but it is always hiding on the other side.

It doesn’t matter where we are, where we go, or where we look; someone else, something else, somewhere else, seems so much better as a place to happen.

This morning I needed some gas. 

The price at the pump at my local gas station, conveniently located right outside the gym, read 115.9 cents per liter.  I have lived here for a very long time now, and I know, without question, I know, that gas prices are always cheaper here.

I looked at the gas light. 

I looked at the price. 

I thought to myself, what if today, what if I’m lucky, what if the price of gas was actually cheaper there than it is here.  I have enough fuel to get there.  I’m going to take a chance.  I am going wait and absorbed in looking at the seductive hint of lusher pastures somewhere else.

As I sit here I can see the gas pump price and its neon glow.  The price of gas is 124.9 cents per liter.  What makes me laugh though, is that, not only will I pay .09 cents more, because I deemed to know better, but because I drove, I actually need a little more gas.  Wasting it, in pursuit of a few cents of savings.

I know better, but I can’t help to laugh at myself.

I am sharing this somewhat insignificant piece of Monday trivia with you, not because I wish to complain about price of fuel, or the refining costs, or the disproportionate taxes attached to every single liter.  My intention is simple. 

You and I look for cheaper gas all the time.

When we want to call our friend on his birthday, we somehow hesitate, or get too busy.  A few days later we can’t call, because we would be embarrassed if he asked why we didn’t call him on his birthday, in the first play.  So, we play a little game, and wait for some time to go by.  We create a bit of distance, so we can save face, so we can finally call.  So, we can finally do what we should have done.  Should have done, when we should have done it.

How dreadfully complicated.

While we wait, we also often forget.  We’re not mean, we’re just a touch weak. 

Life trucks on.  New tasks present themselves.  Life gets complicated and time continues to lose those tiny little grains of sand, which we imagine we can find later.

You may do the same with your art or music.  You sit down to write a song, and by next week you are writing another, and another song.  Pretty soon, all you have, are pieces of melodies and half written ideas, that lead you back to absolutely nowhere. 

That’s what you get when you need gas but seek greener grass.

I can give you countless examples, about writing, about the perfect moment to take your wife or boyfriend on a date, to spend time with your kids, to quit your job, to retire, to see a doctor, to lose weight, to stop eating after midnight, to quit smoking, to quit drinking…

On and on it goes.

We perpetually wait for greener grass.  We get distracted by greener grass.  We spend our time looking and hoping to find a lush green field to rest out mind.

But in the end, we end up lowering our heads, cracking our wallets, and paying a little more.

We end up paying with our lives.

I am about to finish up here, and head to the gas pump.  I will pay extra.  I will consider it a tip.  An investment.  A lesson to look and find those parts of my life that require more work, more digging, and a little less navel gazing.

Do what needs to be done today.

Take comfort in staying the course.

Sometimes the best square of dirt, is the one you don’t move away from.

 

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